The Goal is Restoration
There are many needs you may have sexualized or attempted to meet via the use of sex. In fact, these needs may not truly be sexual in nature. You may want to begin to consider alternative ways to meet your needs.
the following questions can help you determine if there is sex addiction in your life:
PATHOS assessment is a screening tool that can identify potential sex addiction if you answer “yes” to 3 or more of the following, and these have been occurring for at least six months:
P = Preoccupation : Are you preoccupied with sexual thoughts?
A = Ashamed : Do you hide some sexual behaviors from others?
T = Treatment : Have you ever sought therapy for sexual behavior you did not like?
H = Hurt Others : Has anyone ever been hurt emotionally due to your sexual behaviors?
O = Out of Control : Do you feel controlled by your sexual desires?
S = Sad : When you have sex, do you feel depressed afterwards?
We know that you may have survived your own early childhood or adult trauma. Do you identify with any of these?
Serious Accident or Injury
Experiencing or witnessing abuse/violence
Sexual abuse
Neglect from a parent or caregiver [feeling that they were distracted, absent, or emotionally unavailable]
Growing up with a caregiver who is addicted to drugs, alcohol, or other addictions
Growing up with a parent or caregiver who struggled with mental illness [depression, anxiety, etc.]
If any of these points resonated with you, we urge you to seek education, support, and community. Below, you will find a list of resources. You can also reach out via email to info@shehasaname.org and we will connect you to relevant resources.
“I’ve been battling loneliness and depression. A few months ago, I found myself at rock bottom and made the decision to solicit. Thankfully, I was arrested and stopped short of making a horrible mistake... I now know I can move forward and raise awareness with dreams of ending this horrible issue.”
educate yourself
If you haven’t already, we recommend attending SHAN’s Solicitor Education Program. This will provide you with education and awareness about risks to you as well as others you attempt to solicit for sex.
A high percentage of women and teens who are engaged in sex work are victims of human trafficking. Learn more about the realities of human trafficking at our free Anti-Human Trafficking Training.
seek support
Get tested- STI’s may remain hidden with no obvious symptoms. Some are fatal and some highly resistant to treatment. Find free testing sites.
Learn more about sex addiction and find resources for battling sex addition.
We realize some solicitors have a history of lived experience with trauma including child abuse. Helping Survivors assists anyone who has been victimized by sexual assault or abuse. Their website is a compilation of information around different instances of sexual violence. They offer resources to assist survivors and their families.
Chris Stollar is a SHAN board member, passionate Demand Reduction advocate, and the moderator of our Solicitor Education Program. If you have questions or are seeking resources, reach out.